I am _________ today. Anyone who can fill in the blank will win a shiny new ....... paperclip. I don't want to be here today at all.

I hate it when people in my office who normally never have shit to say to me come over all smiles and light because they want me to do something for them.

It makes me want to go all Dave Chappelle and say "Get the Fuck away from my desk bitch!" But keeping it real at work never goes over well. I have a mortgage so now is not the time to keep it real.

I'm going to hang out with my Sands TB today. I haven't seen her for a minute and it will be all kinds of cool to chill with her. That's my ace right there. It was fate that we'd be joining the same organization at the same time with the same number. We were meant to be sisters. That's good shit.

The weather today is prime for sleeping. It's gloomy and grey and a nap would be awesome. I think I'm gonna go catch some zzz's in the bathroom. It will be the only way I can be functional today.

I was reading my homegirl V's blog and it made me sad because she said she couldn't find anyone to vibe with her on certain things. She rattled off some things that she was diggin but felt she had no one to dig it with. I dug at least 2 of those things. It sucks moose balls to think that she didn't feel she could holla at a sista.

It made me think of the kind of friend I am. Critical? Yes. But only about things that I think are harmful. Unsupportive? Hell no. Bad listener? On occasion because my mind is always buzzing. One good tap on the head and I'm back wit you though. I'm still working on myself. Trying to make myself better and less....... whatever.

I feel sometimes that my friends sorta feel like they have to treat me differently because I'm marrying Zeen. It's as if I've been stripped of my cool card. I feel like I've had my cool card replaced with an old fuddy duddy card. I dunno. Maybe I'm reading too much into things. I don't think I'm a fuddy duddy.

Holy crap! What if I am? Damn. Naw, naw. I 'm not. I'm still the same. At least I still feel the same. At least I hope I'm still the same.

Later.........