That shit is staring me right in the face and is about to put the pimp hand down on me. I'm trying not to have a FFF (Full Fledged Freakout) but knowin that shit is a month away is officially fucking with me.
I'm trying my damndest not to have the what have you accomplished conversation I had with myself at 25 because the answer is still the same.......big nothing. I already feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack forming. But I'm stomping down on it like Godzilla on Tokyo. It conjures up in my mind the scene in Old School when Will Ferrell's character chimes in on the locker room pep talk by sayin we have to keep our composure, while fuckin flippin out the whole time. That's what's going on with me.
In other news, V joined the 30 club on Friday. Me & E hosted a sweet dinner for her at Ida Mae. She was beaming! I was so happy to be able to do something for her because she always does so much for everyone else. I really enjoyed seeing her just chill and be celebrated. I'm broke as a joke and it was worth it to see her beam like that. Zeen is the absolute best, he bailed me out (again) when my poor planning skills became apparent. I love that man and I can't wait to be his wife. Any other dude would have been like Sink or Swim bitch!
We went to look at the Palm House at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens on Saturday and the shit was hot to death! If we get it we will be paying through the anus but man, I've gone broke on lesser things. We walked through the gardens and looked at the various places we could have an outdoor ceremony. Dude, the friggin rose garden kicks all sorts of ass! It was gorgeous even with most of the roses not in bloom. We could truly get our stuff off there. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
Back to the freakout....I just thought about what my 13 year old self would think of me. I think she would think I was the coolest old chick around, cause you know 30 was ancient at that age.
FFF averted, you may now return to your scheduled programming.
Later.......
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