The weekend was good. I got to do some hanging with the Zeenman. Which is always good since of late it's been feeling like we are two ships passing in the night.
Friday was a marathon hair doing session complete with gossip on the video whore who's got enough exposure without me name checking her in my blog.
Saturday was full maintenance day where I got necessary manicuring and pedicuring done since I'd been walking around looking like a wildebeest with a nest of vipers on her head. Hence the complete beautification. Later, the Zeenman and I met up with his best friend A & his wife P for a dinner cruise on the World Yacht. Most folks who know me would know that if there is a possibility of bad service during a dining experience, it more than triples if I am one of the diners. In this case it quadrupled. The cruise was from 7 to 10 pm. The Zeenman and I waited from 5:45 to 6:30 pm for A & his wife to show up so we could board. I was slightly cranky by then but I shook it off. Anyhoo, we set sail and the waiting game starts. We wait for water. We wait for appetizers, we wait for dinner. And we wait for dinner, and so on.
The only thing we didn't wait for was booze. The booze lady came by our table regularly and by 8:30 when we still didn't have dinner we were full of tasty Chardonnay and no food. So it was just fantastic at our table. At some point every single one of us said "this is bullshit" while giggling uncontrollably. We got fed finally at around 9:15 or so and I got to see the base of the Statue of Liberty while they cranked up God Bless America and Neil Diamond's ode to the immigrant (I think) about folk coming to America. I think I threw up a bit in my mouth at that point. P & I snuck out on to the deck to enjoy the sites while A tore Management a new one with Zeen backing him up.
The topper to the cruise was the dancing downstairs complete with the most spastic display of white folks dancing I have ever seen in my life. I must preface this by saying that the majority of the folks on the boat were tourists and the fashion faux pas were just too numerous to mention. The ladies all were on the cusp of prom night/10 dollar whore attire. The fug was definitely in full effect. Anyhoo, the DJ put on the Electric Slide and it was pandemonium. Before that it was just......bad. Folks looked like they were doing full body heaves a la Elaine Bennis on Seinfeld. No seriously. I'm not kidding. Anyway the Electric Slide came on and holy crap. Now even the best of Electric Sliders get turned around but at the very least they are doing the basic movements correctly.
There was flailing. There’s no flailing in the Electric Slide. I saw a couple head butt each other. All the while I was in hysterics and sort of concerned about my safety on the dance floor at the same time. I was like yo, do ya’ll even hear the beat? The closer came when the DJ put on the Cha Cha Slide. Zeen & A ran off the floor for their own safety. P & I decided to stick it out. The horror, the horror! Words could not even begin to describe the level of spaz that was taking place on that dance floor. So there was that.
After we docked we decided to head over to the Millennium where A & P were staying and hit the hotel bar for some libations. Last call was at like 12 and I was like um hi this is New York. Why is last call at 12? Anyhoo, after rehashing the Crème Brule incident on the boat, we sought out somewhere else to imbibe. What is the Crème Brule incident you ask? It was the bad service breaking point for A, when the much beloved desert was served cold. It resulted in A storming in to the kitchen and inquiring whether Crème Brule was served hot or cold then promptly requesting the Manager when informed of it’s usual hot serving nature. Hence the aforementioned anus tearing. Which was all quite hilarious to watch.
Anyhoo, we ended up at Flute where we drank many tasty cocktails and voyeuristically watched some dude and chick grope each other and make out. After we were all good and sloshed and a little sick, it was homeward bound.
On Sunday, I wandered around 5th Avenue after picking up my Mom’s birthday present from Tiffany then headed back to the homestead after a long day of wandering about. Now to get my head right for work. Well try to get it right especially since our new “team-building” initiative involves forcing every employee to team up and work on a faux pitch to a Fortune 500 company. *Sigh*
Apparently I work on The Apprentice now. The prize for the winning team is 5K, but the catch is that the loot must be spent on a party for the winning team in one night. Yeah. Did I mention that we won’t know what kind of issue we need to tailor our faux pitch to until one hour before we “meet” the Management of our assigned company? Oh and the 5K comes out to like 333 bucks a head.
Did I also mention that there will be a camera crew documenting all of this? At our company “summit” that concludes with our summer outing. All I know is I’m not signing any releases, because for all I know they are trying to pitch this mess to a network and I’ll be damned if they try to make me out as the Assorama, ur Omarosa of the bunch.
*Sigh* There’s got to be a better way to make a living.
Later………………….
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