I can't even remember when I became this fucking jaded. I think there was a time when I was optimistic, but I really can't remember when that was. I think it's living in this city, this world for that matter that has me the way that I am.
I've somehow learned not to expect a fucking thing.
Not from our institutions.
Not from our government
Not from our organizations.
I spend most of my time disgusted with humanity. This isn't good and I know it but I'm too fucking jaded to care.
I don't have faith in anything (except in love to some degree) and I refuse to. I won't invest myself in anything because it always falls to shit. I always find myself waiting for the other shoe that will inevitably drop.
*Sigh*
This is no way to live. Maybe I can muster up some hope from somewhere. But I really don't think I can.
Later............
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