Tight

5/17 Note: I attempted to write this blog yesterday but these bastards firmly placed both feet into my arse so i couldn't finish til today

No I'm not referring to my pants. I'm referring to how I feel right now. Let me go back first. I had a great weekend. I'm completely worn out but it was great. On Saturday, my home was bridal shower central for Vic's line sister LW. Fun was had by all. I went on event cleaning mode until 2 am the night before so that the crib would at least look livable.

Anyhoo, there were tasty libations (shout out to Vic for the wicked cocktails) and yummy food was had. And it still will be had because there are shitloads of it in my fridge (yay!). There was The Donkey Show which was campy good fun. My Sands TB finally made it to town to join in the festivities. Yay! So I wasn’t the only Zeta for once. Not like it matters since at all those ladies are Fam as far as I’m concerned.

On Sunday, Vic, TB & I had a wonderful Sex in the City day that we didn’t want to end. We brunched at Debs’s, which was some gooooood eatin! we went to Bloomingdales’ for overpriced perfume purchases (I smell like Jasmine, courtesy of Marc Jacobs). Then for the closer we went to Bloomie’s Nail Salon for some much needed pedicuring. It was peace and bliss and all that wonderful shit. Vic and I had the spa pedicure, which was to die for. We all felt beautiful and glamorous, and well taken care of. We didn’t want the camaraderie, luxurious lounging or the day to end.

But with most good things it had to end.

Which brings me to Monday. I had to wake up at 5 am to get to the office at 7 for a meeting. Shitty situation # 1. The car company that my firm uses was supposed to pick me up at 6:15. The motherfuckers call me at 6:10 to tell me there will be a delay of 5 to 20 minutes. I promptly hang up on the dispatcher, after saying that the shit won’t work for me. Still I get a call with my car’s number saying the wait will be 35 minutes! Shitty situation #2. I cancel the car and call the around the way car service. They come in 5 minutes. Of course they sent the hoopty of the hooptiest. The car was a hot mess. It was a Ghetto Deluxe Supreme, complete with graffiti tags on the back seat. The driver was a nimrod who I had to shout directions to over the crazy Arabic shouting music he had on. Shitty Situation # 3.

I roll in to the building at 7 on the fucking dot. Food for the meeting comes and it’s set up and we’re good to go. Not so much. The fucking “MIS” department which is all of 3 people of which only 1 actually does work or used to when we had a different cat working here, has decided to not do their motherfucking jobs at all. There were emails and phone calls to various cats in the department. ALL went unreturned. Our clients were ready to go and we had no internet connection. Shitty Situation # 4.

Asshat # 1 (A #1) is out of the office. Good right? Wrong, he’s out of the office with the Italian Asshat Company (IAC). But first let me backtrack, I’m coming home on the bus from my glorious day of being with my best buddies and all that good shit. I get a voicemail from A #1 saying that the IAC is gonna have a release for issue and he may need me to come in earlier say, 7:30 am. When do I get this call? 7:30 pm Sunday. Fucking jerkoff knew that the damn release was going to be issued and waited til the night before to tell me. ASSHAT! So whatever because I was coming in anyway. So bleary-eyed me sits getting ready for the conference call I had to be on and the release. A #1 calls me and I hear water running in the background. I think: THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL AT HOME!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! He totally could have put the release out from home. But like I said, he’s an Asshat so I got the pleasure of his buck passing. Shitty Situation # 5.

So, to recap I got a lovely weekend with all my favorite people just to come to work and have nothing work right and have the buck passed. Ah the joy!

And I got to operate on 3 hrs of sleep because a certain man who will go nameless thought that watching TV at 2 am was a great idea. He thought it was even better with all the lights on. I was never so close to a full fledged cuss out in my life. I managed to calmly remind him that I needed to wake up at 5 am the next day and he got the picture.

Thus I was null & void for much of the day. Nice huh? On the upside I got to hang with TB so it was all good.

Whew! That was a mouthful and a half.

Later……………….