Mentally and physically. I'm at work now and I'd really prefer to lie down with the curtains drawn. Peace and quiet is what I would like right now but what I have instead is a bunch of requests for things I don't have time to do.
My Mom won't get a computer with the Internet in the house. But she has a friggin fax machine. Which means that instead of emailing the itinerary for her trip to AZ to bail out my stupid assed brother (again) I have to print and fax it like it's 1988 or some shit. She calls me yesterday to tell me that his preliminary trial was yesterday and his actual trial or whatever has been moved to the 21st so he'll have to stay in jail til then.
My response: yeah so?
Her response to that was "Oh Maxine how can you be so cold?" I was like I have nothing left. He's been working hard to get to this result and kudos he's succeeded. She's all well I'm his mother and when you have kids....I cut her off and said I don't have kids. I wanted to say and when I do I won't enable their bad behavior. I will bust that ass so I won't be in your predicament. But I didn't.
So now I'm just tired. Still disgusted and tired.
Later..................
Showing posts with label Family Shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Shit. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
A Common Statistic
Domestic Abuse
Endangering the welfare of a child
Possessing an illegal weapon
Possession with the intent to distribute
Drug Possession
I'm not just listing some random illegal things. I'm listing the counts against my younger brother. A young man that I no longer know. He's a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, a weed head, a deadbeat parent, and an abuser of women.
All those things add up to a lot of time in jail. In Arizona of all places. Not like it matters where. All those things mean that my mother will spend her mother's day bailing him out of another jam that he willingly placed himself in. I told her that if there was anytime that enabling him should cease, this is it. But she won't listen. This is her son I'm talking about and what would people think? Because in the end that's the thing that means the most. Not having folk talk about her. I've excepted that ages ago.
I can't help but wonder if she'd jump in like this for me, who was not enabled by her in any way. But then, I'm not a fucking idiot so I'd never be in my brother's place. I feel foolish for thinking that the fact that he has a child of his own would make him more responsible and less stupid. Really, what was I thinking? If it isn't gotten easily, he doesn't want it. So just like other Black boys of his generation, he is a common statistic. A punk ass kid who thinks hoein around on his girl makes him a man. A lazy bum who thinks it's perfectly fine to do the minimum and let his girl take the weight. A wretched excuse for a human who would hit the mother of his child while she is holding him.
When my mother finally felt the need to tell me what was going on my response was go see about the child. When she brought up my brother's plight my response was fuck it (in my head I said and fuck him too). I'm washing my hands of him.
Does it make me cold and unfeeling? I say no. I am fed up and sick of looking like a fool. He has succeeded in fucking up his life. Well done.
He may as well be dead to me.
Later............
Endangering the welfare of a child
Possessing an illegal weapon
Possession with the intent to distribute
Drug Possession
I'm not just listing some random illegal things. I'm listing the counts against my younger brother. A young man that I no longer know. He's a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, a weed head, a deadbeat parent, and an abuser of women.
All those things add up to a lot of time in jail. In Arizona of all places. Not like it matters where. All those things mean that my mother will spend her mother's day bailing him out of another jam that he willingly placed himself in. I told her that if there was anytime that enabling him should cease, this is it. But she won't listen. This is her son I'm talking about and what would people think? Because in the end that's the thing that means the most. Not having folk talk about her. I've excepted that ages ago.
I can't help but wonder if she'd jump in like this for me, who was not enabled by her in any way. But then, I'm not a fucking idiot so I'd never be in my brother's place. I feel foolish for thinking that the fact that he has a child of his own would make him more responsible and less stupid. Really, what was I thinking? If it isn't gotten easily, he doesn't want it. So just like other Black boys of his generation, he is a common statistic. A punk ass kid who thinks hoein around on his girl makes him a man. A lazy bum who thinks it's perfectly fine to do the minimum and let his girl take the weight. A wretched excuse for a human who would hit the mother of his child while she is holding him.
When my mother finally felt the need to tell me what was going on my response was go see about the child. When she brought up my brother's plight my response was fuck it (in my head I said and fuck him too). I'm washing my hands of him.
Does it make me cold and unfeeling? I say no. I am fed up and sick of looking like a fool. He has succeeded in fucking up his life. Well done.
He may as well be dead to me.
Later............
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