Random Snark

I've decided to resurrect this blog after years of slacking and unemployment. While trolling thru my old posts which sadly have lost all of their awesome comments (Thanks Google! You guys rock balls!) I found this unpublished chestnut from May 2008. Maybe stuff like this is why I was fired. Who knows? Enjoy!



My snark game is tight today. I'm on the rag and I don't give a shit. I almost hope someone will try to start it so I can unload on that ass. Anyway I've enclosed some lovely snark from today for your reading pleasure.

Me to the facilities cat in my office regarding the fact that it's so damn cold my nipples can cut glass:

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:19 AM

To: Facilities Douche

Cc: T-Bird

Subject: Bon Fire at My Cube

Facilities Douche,

I’ve started to collect reams of paper to start a fire in front of my cube. I’m gonna run out for ingredients for S’mores soon. Can you please bring the temperature to something farther away from arctic when you have a moment?

Thanks.

Me

 Me to T-Bird on IM when it dawns on me the FD hasn't shown and I'm frozen

WageSlave500: i just realized that Dr. Teeth never came up here

WageSlave500: it's cold as fuck[ 16:36]

T-Bird: never and i am still sitting in my coat[16:36]

WageSlave500: now i'm mad[16:36]

WageSlave500: see[16:36]

WageSlave500: now he's playing[16:36]

WageSlave500: he doesn't want me to go down to 21 looking for his big toothed ass[16:36]

WageSlave500: I'm on the rag and spoiling for a fight[16:36]

T-Bird: LMAO

 Me after the FD doesn’t show up and I've lost all feeling in my hands.

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:45 PM

To: Facilities Douche

Cc: T-Bird

Subject: RE: Bon Fire at My Cube

Testing, Testing, 1-2-3. This is a check to see if your email is working. I am just as cold as I was at 11:19 am when I informed you of the arctic status of my cube. If you are busy I can understand. But a response would be appreciated.

Thanks again.